Things are a little better today. This is progress and I hope to keep this up for long, because sometimes the ups & downs make me a little crazy wondering if there is something seriously wrong with me. It's crazy how when you are at the point of questioning faith and hope, God has a way of proving himself. The signs have been everywhere for me this week. I have a sister who has been an amazing friend and listener. No matter how much I've cried and complained this week she has never said a negative word. I know I've been a pain in the ass and I'm so glad that she's been able to understand that I just need someone to listen right now. I love her to death and I pray everyday that I can be just as patient and understanding should she ever need me in the same way.
Yesterday was not an easy day for me. As much as I want to say Valentine's is just a day for the retailers to make that extra cash, to me it's also a day to just celebrate an intimate love. I haven't had a valentine for so long so it sucks when that day comes around to remind me once more just how single I am. But my focus right now needs to be on other things so I need to learn to let time take its course and just live, live, live!!
Last night I chose a random bedtime story on my kindle to read my daughter l and it spoke about a girl who lost hope and became so angry and mean & depressed. While my daughter was enjoying the pictures and the story about this good witch gone bad, I was reflecting and relating so much to this character. All she needed was someone to believe in her, to give her a chance to be herself again because she had stopped believing in herself. This girl in the story, in so many ways is me. In the end hope brought her back. This is God people, telling me that no matter what hold on, because he has never forsaken me and he never will. I don't have everything that I want right now and there is so much that I need to happen in order for me to survive life in Florida and provide for my daughter, but I have everything that I need right now. I always do and every surprise phone call, email or message otherwise delivered shows me each day that everything will be okay.
Happy Friday
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