Where's the fat lady? She can start singing now!

In my recent posts I've battled between having faith and giving up. My last post felt like faith had won, like things were finally clear to me as far as what I had to do and how I had to go about doing that. Just when I thought it was okay, not great, not even good, but just okay, something else comes along to fuck life up. 

I feel like a brat, like such an ungrateful person, but why can't things go right for more than just one day? My shoulders are slumped over and all I want to do is give up. I want to throw in the white flag and scream to whoever the hell it is that's making these days just shittier and shittier, you win! You fucking win!

I've been trying to get my life together for six months! I've been applying to so many jobs, lowering my expectations, sleeping on couches with my kid. Depending on others to help me get by, not being able to take care of myself and my daughter like I should. I feel like the breadwinner who's had to swallow their pride and let someone else do what their supposed to be able to do for their family. 

Every interview that I've been on leaves me feeling like I did such a great job, like I will get that call to say we want you, only to leave me deflated two weeks later when not a phone call, not even an email rolls in to say yay or nay. I had money, enough money to start a new life, to be able to get things comfortably, but after six months of not working that money is gone. And unemployment, yeah I have had that too. Until I saw my most recent check telling me that I only had one week's pay remaining. Oh and yeah I have two wait two weeks before I can claim that and then when I receive my "last" check, yeah here's the great part I need to call them to tell them that I have no money and I need an extension. And if, but only if I qualify then I will get an extension and I only have to wait an additional week to get a new check, but if only if I qualify. 

I was supposed to move to my own place on March 1st. Yeah that's about a week and a half away. But I have to wait about three weeks first to see if I'll even qualify for additional unemployment. And maybe life will be fabulous and I'll get a job before then! Yeah cause 7 months should do the trick! Today the glass isn't half full it's fucking empty. I can't anymore! So whoever was out there rooting for the other team, congrats! I give the fuck up!