My Update

Since it has been six months since I last blogged I've decided to do an update on what has been going on in the 6 months that I've been MIA. (WARNING! This post is probably going to be long and all over the place and I'm probably going to complain A LOT! I'm not apologizing, this is how I've been feeling)

I finally got an HR job in March of this year, which should be great news, but my experience has not been the greatest. I won't mention the company because I don't want to cause any problems. It's not a bad company and I think for the people who want to do what we do, it's a great fit. For me not so much. The job has not been very challenging for me, it felt like more of a data entry job and I feel like at this point in my life I want to play a more important role with my career. It has been hard to feel at home here, can't really explain it. I made one work friend and she has been really great, but besides that I just don't feel like I belong here.

Most recently the company has been going through some budget cuts since new legislation has changed the way we make our money and a lot of people have been let go. I got the news that my position was being eliminated and I was given a choice to either take the package which was about a month of pay or to accept a position as an admin which meant that I would be taking a pay cut and would no longer be in HR. I had to think in survival mode because at the end of the day I have a six year old daughter whom I support on my own so I decided that while I didn't want to go into an admin role, I needed to do what would put food on the table. I've been in this new role for 3 weeks and again have been struggling to feel like this is where I need to be. I want to be challenged, I want to have that aha moment. I know that most people don't love every aspect of their job, but this is the first time ever in life that I have absolutely hated a job from day 1. 

Working here has made me question my interest in HR and my career path all together. I feel so lost right now, unsure of every decision I make and unsure of what my future is supposed to be. I don't have a work/home life balance. I don't have a happy place to go home to that makes work a little less stressful. It has been quite the year of hopelessness for me. The one thing that continues to bring me joy is my daughter, but I know that I shouldn't rely on her as my only source of joy. I have to get better so that she can grow up happy & healthy and I am struggling with that.

I've been here in Orlando for 10 months and I've really struggled to make it work. No matter how much I have tried to change the way I think or my perspective on it, it just isn't getting any better. I've realized that Florida may not the place for me and I am trying to figure out my next move. I really miss Atlanta, it was home for 9 years. The choice right now is between Georgia or back home to the Virgin Islands. Unfortunately the economy is not that great in the Virgin Islands right now with companies closing everyday. I'm hoping to get back to Atlanta sometime in the next year. Financially right now it's hard to imagine that, but I do know that for my health and sanity I cannot stay in Florida. So regardless I will be making a move.

So yep, basically not much has changed for me as far as where I was then emotionally to now, except that maybe it's gotten worse. Everyday is a challenge for me. I'm working on changing that. I hope to be able to share not just bad days, but good ones too. It's a work in progress once again...